Eugene Mirman joins such notable literary commencement speakers as David Foster Wallace and Ann Patchett with this speech to the Lexington Hall School class of 2009:
My favorite part: “The main difference for you, between life yesterday and life tomorrow, is you can go to the bathroom whenever you want. It’s a pretty big responsibility, but you’ve earned it. A few more things: you can vote, start a family, go to war, even buy a beer. Just kidding, you’re only mature enough to shoot our enemies in the face.”
For more of Eugene’s wisdom, check out The Will to Whatevs.