Answers from Sebastian Horsley, whose sex, drugs, and Savile Row memoir Dandy in the Underworld got him kicked off U.S. soil
What was the best book of the year?
“Dandy in the Underworld.” How can I top that when the logical thing would be to top myself?
What was the best movie?
Any movie, even the worst, is better than real life. I hate real life only as a human being who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity. Life lies in a pit, covered in shit. It is a cesspool of buffoonery. It is a place so ugly I treasure my beauty. Oh well, miserable or not, life is the only worthless junk a man possesses; those who love life deserve it.
What was the best song/album?
Mine. I’ve waited so long to sing this song. And if you don’t like it, you’re still going to hear it. Was it a cry, a scream or a song? Who cares? Worship baby. I am not by temperament averse to the messianic role.
Fuck off. That is like asking a man crawling across the Sahara desert if he would prefer Malvern or Perrier water. The worst is not to die of thirst.
Who was the person of the year?
Me. Being banned from your shitty little country – the US of A. Obviously you were frightened of me. I was a threat to national insecurity.
What is your New Year’s resolution?
To be known by everyone in the whole world, to sleep with everyone in the whole world, and to be adored by everyone in the whole world. Apart from that – nothing really.
** Bonus question: Where do you see the world going in 2009?
We’re in a sewage pipe baby. We’re going to have to crawl along it until we die. Oh but what about Obama I hear you squeal. A black at the White house! He’s no more black than you are me. Everyone’s coloured, or you wouldn’t be able to see them. He’s half-black half -white. Must be confusing for the cunt. Doesn’t know whether to rob you or shoot you. Don’t be fooled. Men who have greatness within them don’t go in for politics. He’s just another white at the Black house.
Our fate lies not in the stars but in ourselves – a star.
Good fucking night. Happy Kiss My Ass.